Goose-Step Dance Craze Favored by Numbskull Tyrants Would Make Insightful Competition at Winter Olympics

goose step

Besides the beauty and elegance of figure skating and graceful soaring of freestyle skiers, perhaps there should another sport at this year’s Winter Olympics that would tell us a lot more about North Korea–goose-stepping.

I agree with Vice President Pence when he says “everything the North Koreans do at the Olympics is a charade to cover up they’re the most tyrannical and oppressive regime on the planet.”

So let’s make it a transparent charade and show them at their worst—goose-stepping.  Maybe then the rational world can deride and ridicule mindless, indoctrinated troops pompously parading before dysfunctional dictators in goose-step style.

So why not have them parade around on NBC with commentary by SNL. More media exposure might arouse the goose-steppers worst enemies—humorists and satirists.  Years of sarcastic derision—both in the popular culture and by comedians like Mel Brooks, have ultimately relegated the goose-step to where it belongs—in the realm of the ridiculous.

Pyongyang is a long way from Radio City Music Hall, except maybe by missile, so let’s find out why North Korean military fanatics like to kick their legs up like robotic Rockettes?  Let’s show goose-stepping for what it really is—a remnant of a maniacal past.

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un is just the latest in a line of ridiculous rulers whose soldiers have adopted this funny way of showing their blind, dogmatic allegiance and insensitivity.

Where did this goofy march originate?  Why haven’t rational societies put their foot down on such absurd marching meant to gratify sadistic tyrants? What’s needed is media exposure!

Much of the fleeting TV footage of North Korea misses its bizarre, hermetically sealed insanity with just a few seconds showing rows of autonomous idiots parading through the streets of Pyongyang in tight-knit, synchronized formations.

The prominent and chilling feature of these marchers is their villainous goose-step.  So let’s bring it out into the open for the Western World to mock the kind of nuclear loons we’re up against.

Let’s take the occasion of the Winter Olympics to show how the body language of goose-stepping sends a message from soldiers to superiors that they’ll follow all orders, no matter how painful, ludicrous or savage.

For many, the goose-step is most closely associated with the fanatical Nazis as  Hitler believed tighter bonds of solidarity could be achieved through gestures that demonstrated physical loyalty, including his signature stiff-arm salute.

George Orwell knew totalitarianism when he saw it and branded the goose-step as “projecting the vision of a boot crashing down on a face.”

So let’s shine a satiric light on this idiocy at the Winter Olympics.

Maybe President Trump’s tweets should lean more toward satire than “fire and fury,” as humor may be a more potent weapon against numbskull fanatics wielding fake power, or is it that fake? 

Please readers, let your mouse walk, not goose-step to Amazon to buy my new book “Is there enough Brady in Trump to win the inSUPERable BOWL?”  It’s the book Kim Jong Un hates and wants his troops to goose-step on.

kim jun


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