You could call me Rex.  But please!  Not Tyrannosaurus rex, although some mornings I feel that vintage.  Still, most days I’m practically a spring chicken, or at least I feel that way bouncing along the beach. Just don’t ask how old I am.  Oy, the numbers. They’re unlisted.

But now I’m fully vaccinated so I can roam the condo coop, occasionally even my offices, provided I wear my mask, stay dutifully distant, respectfully aloof. 

No, I mean another Rex, one of my favorite actors, the urbane Rex Harrison. I almost met him once. 

He was sedately seated alone exquisitely enjoying lunch at one of those chic restaurants on E. 57th St. for which I was doing culinary PR back in the day, but my client, the owner, said his celebrity guest preferred not to be disturbed.  Oh well!

Still, when trying to make a point with my grandson, I sometimes think of Rex lecturing Audrey in one of my favorite musical films, My Fair Lady.  Like the other day when I was trying to convince Johnny to do something he’s reluctant to do—get vaccinated.

Here he is, having reached the ripe old age of 20 something, so what’s he worried about?  In vaccine land early twenties are equivalent to middle age, well beyond where you’d get any of those rare heart hiccups, murmurs or inflammations we’re hearing about in a few, an infinitesimally few, much younger vaccinees.

So proud he’s still bravely unvaccinated, he posted a picture of himself with a bunch of his similarly stubborn unvaccinated pals at Game 1 of first round NBA playoff series. The caption boasted how life’s back to normal with COVID cases down, spirits up and arms still virgins. So why vaccinate?

Then it made me think of Rex singing “Why Can’t the English Teach Their Children How to Speak.” Only I changed the lyrics around to contemporary COVID times and texted to him this witty new ditty.  Poetically I pointed out that those who are still staunchly staying unvaccinated are not thinking right about the pandemic, themselves or others:

Why can’t the parents teach their children how to think?
This intellect imbalance by now should be extinct.
If you thought like my grandson instead of the way you do,
Why you just might catch the virus too!
A young person’s reasoning absolutely classifies him,

The moment he talks he makes older folks despise him.
One COVID defense I’m afraid we’ll never get.
So, why can’t New Yorkers learn to set. . .

A good example to people whose reasoning is painful to your ears?
The grandkids of today can leave you close to tears.
There even are places where logic completely disappears.

In Manhattan they haven’t used it for years!

Why can’t the parents teach their children how to think?
Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks get good at Greek.

Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.
And Hebrews learn it backwards, which is absolutely frightening.

Apply proper logic and friends will warn you’ll sink!
So why can’t my grandson l-e-a-r-n  to  t-h-i-n-k !

Besides an inveterate blogger, Tom Madden is an author of countless published articles and five books, including his latest, WORDSHINE MAN, available this summer on Amazon.   He is the founder and CEO of TransMedia Group, an award-winning public relations firm serving clients worldwide since 1981 and has conducted remarkably successful media campaigns and crisis management for some of America’s largest companies and organizations.