Madden Mischief

What if we could call our Lord on our cell phones.  Text God when we want to run something by Him.  How inspiring.  How comforting.  How miraculous would that be?

Sure, we speak to God in our prayers, but what about having a conversation.  How do we reach Him directly?  What’s His number?  It’s unlisted! 

If He’s not taking calls, could we ever text Him?  Would that work?

Imagine how wonderful if we could?  If we could text God a message.  Call Him!

But then how would we find his number?  Does AT&T or Verizon reach heaven?  Does Xfinity?  Is there a spiritual directory?  A biblical phone book? 

Who knows God’s number?  The Pope?  President Trump?  Would he give it to me if I swear to him that I’m a devoted Republican?  I’m not at all tarrified by tariffs?

There’s so much I’d like to ask the Almighty, to share with our Lord and Savior!

Like . . . will this bloodshed in Gaza ever end?   How long will Putin’s drones keep murdering Ukrainian children?  Why all this never-ending chaos in Syria and elsewhere throughout the tumultuous Middle East?  Why is the Holy Land of Israel so besieged on all fronts, ever having to aggressively defend itself?

And most importantly, will we ever see the Epstein files?

Yes, I’d give anything for God’s number.

I’ll pay whatever tariffs, no matter what the charges or terms.  And I promise, unless God wants, I won’t give out his number to just anyone!  Not for all the tea in China or for zero tariffs on those countries supplying my favorite foods and beverages now at jacked up prices during these inflationary times with Chairman Powell still asleep at the interest rate wheel.

This world’s become a cantankerous zoo, ever mired in a snarling, deadly stew.

And here am I, kneeling in a pew, in an overpacked church praying my heart out. For what? A number!  Not just any number, but The number, the number one number!  God’s number!

If now, for starters, how about just giving me the area code?

Tom Madden’s next book, his 7^th, is near to being published.  The seven-word title is: As America’s Hippest, Is Catholicism Now Coolest?  When he’s not writing books and his weekly blog at MaddenMischief.com, he and is illustrious daughter Adrienne Mazzone, are drawing media attention to clients of TransMedia Group, their PR firm headquartered in Boca Raton, FL, which Madden started when he left NBC in Manhattan where he was vice president, assistant to the president, then TV series wunderkind Fred Silverman.