Madden Mischief

Overeating stokes evil into hearts, and mines called tummies.  Belly full, still sinners yearn for yummies.

Why art thou fascinated by fat, so clung to cholesterol?  Why so many self-indulgent dummies?

Thumbing noses at thin, makes the devil win.  And in that pitiful process, thou shalt commit dietary sin.  

Watch how it balloons thy stomach; warps thy spirit, de-energizes thy soul.

Know that for consuming so much, thy belly pays the toll!

Benevolent Broccoli is a penance for ravenous pigging out.  Virtuous veggies save thy toes from excruciating gout.

Only greens redeem thou from caloric perdition, so best show thou contrition or spend life in fat prison. 

Diet for redemption to reach thy holy grail. Only with perseverance wilt thou quest prevail.  

Until thyself is lean, never shalt thou bale, pray thou reaches heaven thin as a rail.

Dear friends, do not lust for vicious delicious morsels, nor thirst for intoxication.  Focus instead on eternal salvation!

Shed hellish pounds for thy Lord as a sign thy faith’s restored.  Stay strong as our nation, with willpower onboard.

There’s no beans about it.  No French fries either . . . 

It’s a digestible fate, consuming fewer calories will earn thou the promised land, through the pearly gate. 

There you can have burgers galore, all the bubbly you want, until then eschew fries, bury desire for apple pies.

Ever after stay happily slim in that restaurant above with the arches brim.  Eagerly it awaits all faithful underweights.

Adhering to Hail Holy Diet, thou hast won, so now enter thy mystically magical McKingdom!

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For Hail Holy Diet

Tom Madden wants to go to heaven, but not right away, as he and his wife Rita  enjoy the magnificent ocean views from their balcony at the Chalfonte in Boca Raton.  Madden writes a weekly blog and his soon to be published seventh book is titled “As America’s Hippest, is Catholicism Now Coolest?”  He’s the founder and CEO of the award-winning international PR firm, TransMedia Group.