Politics is our national sport, a grueling gridiron. Whether you play on FACEBOOK or TRUTH SOCIAL, it’s a perfect metaphor for FOOTBALL.
Only instead of grilling meat and fish over an open fire, you grill people and parties who have a different perspective on what making blocks and tackles and scoring goals means for America.
It’s a sport that captures us. Enthralls us. Enlivens us. Makes us want to root for our heroic red or blue backfields and brave, hearty linemen. See our quarterbacks throw hail Mary passes into end zones. Scream “touchdown” that will make America great again! And again!
Here’s the latest lineup as I see it, fellow sports fans.
Tim Scott is a quarterback if there ever was one. He’s a tall, firm no-nonsense teacher of economics to news anchor kingpins, has a deep-toned voice and sincere look when he says what he’ll do to keep America great, and you can tell he means it.
Then there Ron DeSantis, certainly a coach any country would want at wartime.
Having served in the military, this often-growling governor would know best how to fly troops to front lines, migrants to Manhattan and civilians back home from war-torn areas, especially if they’re from Florida.
Then there’s those pugnacious, street-fighting, no-holds barred guards and tackles, heavyweight Christie and lightweight Ramaswamy, both rattling at rivals.
Thankfully, there’s the strategic GOP queen bee herself, the former UN ambassador, Nikki Haley, the nicest of them all, a princess in the pack, almost imperially speaking heart-felt wisdom to the wolves around her.
Then there’s Mr. Entertainment himself, that smiling, beguiling master of ceremonies, the mega star at halftimes, who from afar still steals the show and leads the pack by too many yards for any to overcome.
He’s the triumphant Trump whom many predict will be reelected President despite the posse of legals after him, which he calls just political theatrics, transparently crude attempts to yank him off from where he divinely belongs–center stage.
And who is the country’s current quarterback for whom this kennel of candidates is seething with contempt, hunting him down, endeavoring to succeed him?
Why it’s Hunter Biden’s dad, the not-so-poor, but rapidly aging Joe Biden, a president who sometimes stammers and stumbles as he’s in his 80’s, which in DeSantis land would only be mid-60’s.
Still, geriatric Joe manages to make fumbles like only whispering wishes for pauses in the war in Gaza, while his rivals yell death to the terrorists, no matter what the costs.
Now with the game in the fourth quarter, Trump leads Biden and football fans, we’ll be right back after this commercial.
Tom Madden is the proverbial WORDSHINE MAN, the title of his latest book about how to make writing fun and inviting. When he’s not writing books or blogs, he’s rewriting news releases for clients of his PR firm TransMedia Group.