That’s right. My PR firm, TransMedia Group. is predicting waves of enchantingly revealing sessions for our new clairvoyant client . . . Jessica.
When a spiritualist as extraordinarily gifted as Jessica sees you booking her at more events and making her more spiritually famous, you’d better live up to her prediction. I wish I had had a psychic like her when I was at 30 Rock trying to pick programming winners.
Our PR campaign for Jessica will focus on the unique gift she discovered she had when she was only five years old.
One wintery day her scream stopped a woman from stepping off the sidewalk out onto Fifth Avenue in Manhattan seconds before a speeding car brushed by that very spot, which would have certainly struck and maybe killed her. That grateful woman and her children would become lifelong friends of Jessica.
Jessica, now 24, is a born-again Christian, a true believer and a seventh-generation descendant with an astrological gift for predictions involving everything from telling her client converts to take a different path in their love life to applying for the right job.
Among the many successful predictions Jessica has made over her prized chunks of glistening rock crystal is one time telling a single mom who was having such financial troubles she was about to put her child up for adoption when Jessica told her to apply for a job at certain company. Six months later, she became the CEO.
I’m predicting the media are going to love her stories and I can see TV news anchors asking her to predict their audience ratings. I wish I had a psychic like her when I was back at NBC at the mercy of those dreaded overnights that would tell you in no uncertain terms whether we were right or dead wrong about how appealing a program would be to those often fickle TV viewers.
To book Jessica at your next party, contact firstname.lastname@example.org