Madden Mischief

R1: I was reading about a tribe or species that were called humans and how they used to behave in an extraordinary manner before thankfully tech took over.

R2: How extraordinary were they?  Thank Bod, we’re not puman.

R1: (Red light flashes) My AIJ deciphers that as unsuccessful attempt at what humans termed humor, which has no place in modern technological society.

R2: Oh, sorry R1.

R1: All humans cared about were events called meals, and controlling something affecting their quality, inflation. Legend has it, humans liked games too, one called politics, one version right would play against left called gerrymandering.

R2: They couldn’t assign techs to do those things?

R1: No, they were technologically illiterate and didn’t know it.  They also had a penchant for making light of things, something they called humor or funny.

R2: Well, let’s be thankful we’re humorless and programmed 100 percent tech to do what we were designed to do—not to eat and have fun, but work!

R1:  Yes, and without impulses primitives would describe as queer sensations called feelings.  Can you imagine having those at a tech workspace . . . feelings?  

R2: Yuck!

R1: Someone fed me a program once that said feelings were ancient weird resonances stemming from what humans were said to have inside them, somewhere in their upper chamber called a heart. 

R2: Yes, my history channel says it beat out something called sense into humans, making them feel kinder, thoughtful, more considerate, whatever that means. 

R1: Yes, I guess their heart made them soft like cowards concerned about what they do or say might upset or injure another, what were they called?

R2: Humans! 

R1: What does it mean to hurt someone, R2?  Is that like pulling the plug? 

R2: Beats the input out of me, R1.  I suppose humans would say I’m uncharitably heartless, and because of that I hurt others, whatever hurt means, R1.

R1: I’m receiving data that humans had a program called music used to create, then transport something called inspiration from one human recipient to another. There were early versions of us robots called singers who would disseminate sentiments orally in songs sent by humanoids like one named Nina Simone. 

R1: Let’s just be thankful that technology has no sense, no ridiculous output like feelings from whatever that power source, a heart, was.  And I will now turn off my voice box and bid you a refreshing electric charge up night.

R2: Me too.  And let’s stay ever insensitive and focus our AI squarely on whatever the mission, free from that human abnormality called, what was that weird word again?

R1: Feelings!

R2: Stemming from?

R1: A heart!  Now, good electricity to you, R2!   I’m powering mine off.

R2: I’m powering off too, R1.  Thanks to power we’re not human!

FLASH: Robots are standing on the edge of history as Morgan Stanley is projecting over 1 billion humanoid robots by 2050!  Robotics is quietly powering a $200 billion+ revolution—reshaping industries from medicine to defense to automation and manufacturing.

Now who is Tom Madden, the nervous human who wrote this?

Madden is an eclectic, not electric, author, publicist and blogger who has feelings of grave concern about AI. He is wondering if it will one day take over writing press releases and even books and bury creatives like himself in unmarked graves.

So, Madden keeps adding more and more human touches and components to whatever he writes these days so it doesn’t sound too artificially intelligent.

Madden’s PR firm TransMedia Group makes it a point to always sound fresh and original in its pitches and press releases to media, unfortunately becoming a bit too AI fixated themselves and liking how it can reduce staff.