Madden Mischief

Lou: I took a flight with my dentist last week.

Bud: Oh yea, that’s nice.  Where’d you go?

Lou: Two Crowns. Dr. Viner crowned me twice. 

Bud: Oh?

Lou: Yea, the crowns may have solved problems I was having, still I don’t feel at all kingly like Charles or even the slightest bit royal.  (rim shot)

Lou: You know, if I was really flyin’ like Sinatra used to do, I’d float down to Peru where the new Pope practiced his pastoral ministry servin’ God, then onto maybe where Pope Leo was born, which is a way hipper place to be from.

Bud: Oh yea?  Where’s that?

Lou: The windy city, man—Chicago.  Comin’ from that toddlin’ town, Leo’s makin’ Catholicism today lookin’ the coolest of the pack.  (rim shot)

Bud: He sure is.

Lou: Oh, by the way, if you know some highflyers looking to give a president a $400 million airplane or a spiffy spacecraft, let me know.

Bud: Sure will.

Lou: Good, I know one who’d sure like their number. (rim shot)

Bud: Hey Lou, are you still hiking up and down the beach every day?

Lou: Sure am! But some guys who “brag’ along the beach, which I call “runnin’,”  see older hoofers like me preferin’ walkin’ as lazy bums, even when doin’ it briskly, breathin’ hard, fists clenched, lookin’ out not to get bee stung steppin’ on ‘em.

Bud: But you love livin’ in that Chalfonte oceanfront condo, don’t you, Lou?

Lou: Yea, but I’m not crazy about those ever-smilin’, happily chirpin’ meteorologists on television news I see every night.

Bud: Why not?

Lou: Because who in the right mind looks forward so enthusiastically to them humdingers called hurricanes?   

Bud: They actually look forward to them?

Lou: Gives ‘em a starring role.

Bud: Star billing?

Lou: You bet, and it just boils my blood when they say: “When we return, we’ll show you exactly where the hurricane’s expected to hit next.”  Then they’ll go to commercials leavin’ me in hyper suspense in hurricane-prone Florida . . . livin’ in a condo . . . right on the ocean.

And at a time when Planetary Lifeguard’s sayin’ heat’s reachin’ record levels and he’s blowin’ his whistle furiously tryin’ to stop this spiraling climate change, but ineffectually as there still aren’t enough electric cars on the roads yet as Musk maybe took too darn long gettin’ outta DOGE! 

Mfua;lkf;aif;oaifia;oiefj;a!!!&shi!!!

Well, that’s it, folks. Show’s over.  We’ll return next week with a whole new episode brought to you by MaddenMischief, written, produced and directed by Tom Madden, who some call the “Spin Man,” the title of the first of his seven books, the seventh coming soon titled “As America’s Hippest, Is Catholicism Now Coolest?”   When not writing books and his weekly blog, he’s managing his multi-faceted, international PR firm TransMedia Group along with his illustrious daughter Adrienne Mazzone