What’s this I just read that the divorce rate among older couples is rising at a faster clip and their marriages are falling off a cliff faster than ever before in America. Ironically this is happening as we celebrates the 250th Anniversary of signing the Declaration of Independence, where Americans are staying happily married to freedom for such a wonderfully long time.
Yet, when you’re older, isn’t that the time to batten down the hatches instead of springing loose and going sky diving cold turkey?
I was so deeply depressed and disoriented when I suffered that awful experience of sudden blistering singlehood thrust upon me after many blissfully happy years married to Angela. She was abducted from me one night by a terrible enemy, the unrelenting breast cancer she had bravely battled for years until it finally took her from me.
When I lost her, I found myself in my late seventies suddenly sky diving alone without a parachute. On the topsy turvy way down I was meeting all sorts of eager understudies who apparently saw me as a good catch, an older guy with a few bucks.
Then one lucky day the parachute opened and instead of falling I started to glide right into falling in love and marrying my dear wife Rita with whom I’m so blissfully happy and lucky to have as my wife for life. And I can’t thank Brazil enough, from where she comes, for rescuing me from such a far distance I was from happiness, an eerie place called despair!
So, let’s get back to the general issue. If marriages create happiness as they’ve done for me, why are we seeing such a boom in boomer divorces? Why are so many baby boomers now saying “I do” in the wrong direction, divorce. The divorce rate overall in the US thankfully is falling, yet as reported in BUSINESS INSIDER today, not for older Americans!
Why are people over 50 splitting up twice as fast as they did in 1990? And why now has that number tripled for those over 65 as nearly 40% of all divorces involve adults over 50!
Vexing Problems!
Doesn’t a ton of elder Americans calling it quits create a slew of other problems, including at the worst time an avalanche of financial stress?
As BI’s Emily Stewart observes, amid the plethora of financial headaches divorce provokes, older couples are also arguing over retirement plans and, oh yes, inheritances!
So, what’s causing this melodramatic but ultra disturbing rise in gray divorces? It’s anybody’s guess but I’m guessing Emily’s right, that it has more to do with people like me living longer, so when they once said, “till death do us part,” few realized that it could take so long.
Then there’s another issue, how divorce affects the children of older couples who decide to split. Instead of staying with mom or dad, the question now might be whether mom or dad will be staying with them?
Then there’s that spiraling cost of elder care sucking up inheritances.
So, here’s a much better solution, a less disruptive and a much more practical, inexpensive scenario.
Simply put, do whatever it takes to make marriages work and stay together! Find a way to restore the love that brought them about in the first place, then do whatever it takes to rekindle those feelings, keep love alive and remain comfortably, happily and more financially wisely living where mom and dad belong–at home!
Tom Madden is now happily married again while still running TransMedia Group along with its president, his daughter Adrienne Mazzone. Madden founded the PR firm when he left NBC in New York where he was vice president and special assistant to then CEO, Fred Silverman. Madden is the author of six books and countless blogs and articles published in media nationwide.
