How Creative Are Your Antlers?

Here’s a test for you to lock horns with your imagination to see how creative a writer you are. Running with current events, I call it the Amazonian Writing Test.  With 97.6% accuracy, it will reveal how good a writer YOU are.

 Here’s the fictional event you are to write pithy headlines about from different points of view.  Any relation to real characters and events is purely coincidental.

Benjamin Franklin Bezos, CEO of the sprawling Amazonian Antlers Company, travels to East Falls to speak with city officials about his new plant there. The city gave Bezos many tax incentives.  So far, however, the construction is behind schedule, and the number of people hired is far smaller than initial projections.

So Bezos travels to East Falls in the company Learjet accompanied by his assistant, a beautiful blond intern rumored to be in the running to become his VPVP, Very Personal Vice President.

When the company Learjet finishes taxiing, steps are rolled up to the doorway.  Bezos emerges, martini in hand, and promptly trips and falls down the stairs.  The front runner to become his VPVP was standing right behind him, but appears more interested in taking a selfie with the jet in the background than the well-being of her boss.




Write the headline of the story from these different perspectives:


  1. The Amazonian Company director of public relations.

  2. The Wall Street Journal’s business beat reporter, who has been covering Bezos for several years.

  3. The East Falls Times’ beat reporter.

  4. The local TV anchor.

  5. The East Falls’ daily newspaper humor columnist.


Go!  You have five minutes. 


After you finish, kindly read mine below for comparison. 


  1. Bezos had a slight accident exiting from a jet on his way to help storm victims in Puerto Rico.

  2. Once again one too many martinis results in Bezos crash landing.

  3. Bezos injured in freak fall from private jet.

  4. Well Mr. Bezos arrived here today, but he wishes it could have been a softer landing.

  5. Bezos’ assistant takes selfie while her boss takes a tumble with martini in hand at aptly named Falls airport.


Mr. Madden’s new book “Is there enough Brady in Trump to win the inSUPERable BOWL?” is available on Amazon, the one without antlers that’s more the octopus with its tentacles into everything.





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