Sleepless in Florida Without Sprinklers?

today

This horrific, deadly London apartment building fire hit home in a scary way. I live in a Florida condo built in 1970’s with no sprinklers.

Here was the scary wake-up paragraph in some news reports that got my attention, not to mention my blood flowing:

Politicians from all sides are demanding to know why recommendations made  after a deadly fire at another London apartment building in 2009 — including a call to install sprinklers in tower blocks — have gone unheeded. Grenfell Tower was completed in 1974, and there is no legal requirement to retrofit older high rises with sprinklers.

I never thought I’d say, write or even think this, but after seeing that London apartment building incinerate so quickly, I now want sprinklers installed at my hi-rise condo.  I can’t wait to have them, see them and if necessary shower in them if a fire breaks out.

Actually I was thinking so hard about this the other day during one of our many false fire alarms, this one occurring midday, which as usual shut down our building’s old elevators until the source of the alarm could be traced and its seriousness determined.

Only the timing of this one was awful as I had just returned from supermarket carrying heavy bags containing fresh groceries, half gallons of milk and melting ice cream.

Rather than sit and wait for the usual all clear as most of the alarms turn out to be due to faulty smoke alarms or some idiot burning toast while having all the fresh food I was carrying spoil in the heat, I decided to take the food by the horns and lug my groceries up eight flights of stairs, despite the temperature  near 90.

With my heart pounding and perspiration pouring off me, my upward trudging ignites my blogger imagination.  As I climb flight after flight, I can’t help envisioning the stark headline across the front page of the Palm Beach Post:

 PR man found dead in his steamy hot Florida condo stairway.

 Victim apparently suffered fatal heart attack while carrying groceries up eight flights of stairs. He collapsed during a power outage caused by one of many fire alarms plaguing his high-rise condo, this one on one of hottest days on record.

 While seniors in building blame President Trump’s pulling out of the Paris Accord for neighbor’s death, victim’s own last words scrawled in white milky letters on concrete floor of the condo stairway say “global warming not to blame.

 “Trump knows what he’s doing to make America cool again. Read my book, ‘Is There Enough Brady in Trump to Win the inSUPERable BOWL?’ available for $14.95 on Amazon.”

As I finally make it up to my apartment on the eighth floor, I snap out of it and return breathlessly to reality.  Of course, by then, the alarm is reported to be once again FALSE!  Thank you very much!

So tonight I’ll be sleepless in Florida Condo Land thinking about no sprinklers.                                                                                                                                                          TM


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