Sleepless in DC. Where Leaders Fight The Battle of the Bags

What’s with all the bags appearing in DC?  I have to thank my clear-eyed wife Angela for pointing out all the bags we’re seeing night after night on TV news. And they’re not fakes, they’re real. 

Not the bags passengers lose and fight over at airports.  Or Gucci or Fendi Woman’s Peekaboo bags or Hermes Shiny Porosus Crocodile bags.  No, I’m talking puffy bags drooping under the eyes of our political leaders who obviously are not getting enough rest and are becoming sleepless in DC.

Look at the biggest eye baggage claimer of all, our sleepless, late-night tweeting, puffy-eyed President.  Since taking office, Trump’s bags are starting to grow tiny grips on them I suppose for traveling.  More than a wide-awake wall, he may need Nyquil. 

 Then there’s the baggy-eyed champ, former FBI director James Comey.

 I suppose Comey’s bags started bulging after he absolved hazel-eyed Hillary of any criminal baggage. It apparently caused him many sleepless nights stewing over her secret, private e-mail server and ultimately may have led to his firing after that face-to-face, baggy eye to baggy eye dinner at the White House. 

Imagine them looking deep into each other’s bags trying to decipher the truth.

Watching Comey joust during Congressional hearings with Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley was the ultimate battle of the bags.  Makes you wonder why there are so many bags under the eyes of politicians in the public eye.

The President’s tireless defender Kelleyanne Conway also is showing traces of sleeplessness on her face as she faces media buzz.  Could that be what causes her inquisitors like CNN’s Anderson Snooper Cooper to look so pooped from listening to her laments about fake news that he sleepily rolls his eyes, an effect that goes sprightly viral? 

 And there’s nice-guy, teaspoon-news-feeding Sean Spicer. Now he has bags starting to protrude from under his increasingly stressed blue eyes, but they’re no match for Senator Chuck Schumer’s fire burn and caldron bubble news conferences where his bags billow out further than Pinocchio’s nose. 

 The media are not immune to sleeplessness in DC.  Look at FOX’s Howard Kurtz. Poor guy, he’s developing bags too, along with his regulars Molly Hemmingway and Daily Beast columnist Margaret Carlson.  She should not wear eyeglasses when on Media Buzz as they only accentuate them. 

Now even our late night “elitist” entertainers like Jimmy Kimmel are showing bags while’s delivering gags.  

 So here’s the moral of this baggy story.  For all those in DC at the tumultuous pinnacle of their political careers . . . get some damn sleep, will you?    Thx!


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